Time for Remedial Kindergarten

You probably remember this. Thirty years ago, Robert Fulghum published a book titled All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. It has sold 17 million copies in 103 countries and has been translated into 31 languages. Must have struck a chord.

“How to live, what to do, how to be,” Fulghum found in a few kindergarten lessons:

• Share everything
• Play fair
• Don’t hit people
• Put things back where you found them
• Clean up your own mess
• Don’t take things that aren’t yours
• Say you’re sorry when you hurt someone
• Wash your hands before you eat
• When you go out into the world, hold hands and stick together

Fulghum observes that schooling is mandatory in order for us to be taught “the fundamentals on which civilization rests. These are first explained in language a small child understands.” As he says, telling a child that “violence is counterproductive to the constructive interaction of persons and societies” may not be understood, but “Don’t hit people” teaches the rule for the child to live by.

Fulghum’s rules go beyond relations between individuals to apply to basic sanitation, ecology, equality, government and politics. The rules guide our verbal communication – how we speak to others. Civil discourse is an antidote to divisiveness, an antidote that is sorely needed. What kindergarten teacher, or parent for that matter, would allow the coarseness of words and thoughts expressed in public communication today.

Political correctness today receives a bad rap. So be it. Not everyone agrees on how to refer to Native Americans or how many genders there are. Just stay out of that conversation. But political correctness should not be confused with civil discourse. It is not a stretch to assert that lack of civility contributes to divisiveness and even hatred: eventually effective communication disappears completely. No progress toward addressing grievances will occur without communication. Name-calling is not going to resolve race relations. Nor is bullying going to tame an unruly neighbor, let alone eradicate nuclear weapons.

So, remember your kindergarten teacher and the simple life lessons learned there and from parents. Observe them and teach them to your children and grandchildren so they know that much of what they hear and see today is not acceptable behavior.